Parentlink - Now you are a parent

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Now you are a parent

"Oh! Korka unna, you got your little baby now?"

"Yeah, it's all over now!"

"Only for now though, then comes all the bottles, nappies, crying, no more sleep; but it's all going to be worth it."

"Yeah."

Having a baby is a big job and looking after a baby is a big job too!
Your life will change because you have that little person to think of as well.
You will feel love, happiness and pride and you might also feel upset, or anxious and tired.
It can be scary when you realise this little person needs you for everything, especially if you feel you don't know a lot about babies.
Parenting is forever and it isn't easy at any time. Some people's parenting ways may be different but we all want the same thing, for our kids to grow up to be healthy, happy, successful, honest, caring and responsible adults.
There will be many things to handle and do in bringing up your precious child, right until they are grown up.
You are not expected to be the perfect parent!
Most parents learn things as they go, sometimes by what they were brought up to know, or what they have read somewhere, or seen other people do.

You are the most important person in your child's life. You have to look after yourself.

Nobody has all the answers but asking around can give you extra ideas. Talk to other mums and dads. Talk to your grandparents, aunties and uncles too.
Get to know about things in your area like playgroups. Visit local child care centres. Get involved.
Find out how kids grow and develop.
It's okay to get someone you trust to mind your baby for a little while if you are feeling tired, stressed or worried. Just make sure you have left everything your baby will need like his food, milk, nappies. Let the person babysitting know where you are and when you'll be back.
Every parent gets angry at some time and you might feel that you're "losing it". You might feel that everything is on top of you - the kids are playing up and you just don't know what to do and you get mad.
Getting angry is a normal and healthy emotion it becomes a problem when we are not able to manage it.

The important thing is to admit you are angry and deal with it in a way that won't hurt your family.

When you think you're getting to that point where you might do something that you'll feel sorry about later, get rid of your tension. Everyone has different ways to do this.
- Some people talk to themselves like "Stop! Calm down and take 10 deep breaths" or "I've got to stop what I'm doing and count to 20".
- Others walk away or go for a run around the block. Some put on music and dance around the room.
- Getting outside and getting fresh air can help. But make sure you have put your kids in a safe place first. If you have very young children and no one to mind them, take them with you.
- Some find talking to someone to 'get it off your chest' can be helpful but you need to feel you can trust that person.
- If you have a lot of anger that is still with you from your own childhood or things that have happened to you, it is important to be free from "old" anger. This may mean you need to get help from others.
Get ideas and support from your parents, your family, relations and friends or ask your local doctor or health worker.

Every baby is different, even in the same family. Babies grow and learn faster than at any other time of their life.
Your baby is learning lots of things from you.
Know that your baby needs you to feed her, comfort her, give her warmth and love as well as you can. When you do this she is learning to love you and to trust you.
Talk to your baby when you change, wash or feed her.
Make time to have playtime. Touch and play with her gently.
Let her sleep in a quiet place when she is tired.
Sing to your baby.

Never shake a baby - it can cause brain damage.

ACT Govt Publication No 08/0618 May 2008 (Revised 0806)